You know how sometimes you get a song stuck in your head and you can’t get it out? Lately, every single time I push my mom in her wheelchair around the house, Willie Nelson’s “On The Road Again” starts running through my head. Never fails. I’ve never shared this much headspace with Willie and I’m not sure I’ll be able to escape him any time soon.
My mom is strong and resilient, but her brain is stubborn and we’ve had to resort to a wheel chair to keep things on the up and up. My dad recently had his 5th knee surgery (#6 will follow and hopefully (!!!) be the last) so they need some extra help. Thankfully in times of a global pandemic, remote work is encouraged so we’ve been able to manage the schedule between me and my sisters from morning to night for a few weeks.
There are wheelchairs and walkers taking up space where able-bodied people used to roam. My dad administers his own IV antibiotics in the living room. The sound of ice crashing softly against a plastic cup is the theme song. I fill up cup after cup each day, taking them from room to room to hydrate the patients. One hand holding a cup while I push the wheelchair because who has time for two trips? For some reason this act, going to the fridge and filling up cup after cup of ice water has become the single action that stands out over all the others. The sound is comforting to me. I am either losing my mind or finding peace in small actions. Sometimes, when you are faced with a million things you cannot change, you cling to the few that you can. I can’t cure your disease or fight the infections, but you can count on me to keep you hydrated! I might add that to my business cards.
We take pride in the simple moments and accomplishments of the day. It’s honestly the greatest reminder of what matters. Make your bed. Fuel your body. Rest. Relax. Mark something off the to-do list. Send thank you notes. Fold laundry. There is no rush, no hustle or bustle, we just be together. The routine of the day rolls from one to the next, sometimes there are doctors’ appointments with treatment to administer or scans to mix it up but most of the time the doctors live in our pocket and we simply FaceTime a visit.
Aside from the 3 of us rotating in and out, we have a dozen others standing at the ready. They bring meals, drive to and from appointments, visit, send flowers, pray etc. It doesn’t just take a village to raise kids, it takes a village to persevere through hardship. These people are our saving grace, a welcome distraction when we need it most. Many have commented on just how lucky we are to all live in the same city. It is amazing to me that it ended up that way…
My sisters are 9 and 6 years older than I am. The oldest, Michelle went to Notre Dame and then moved to St. Louis for grad school. She moved back to Vermillion, SD after graduation thanks to my awesome brother-in-law. They built a life here. My sister Jen went to college at Loyola in Chicago and lived there for 11 years. She moved to Milwaukee for a stint before joining me in Denver, where I landed after college in Kansas. I lived there for 6 years, met and married my husband, had our first son. The pull to move back was strong when I was pregnant. Really strong. Like I didn’t actually think I had a choice. The decision had already been made and it felt right with every fiber of my being. After we moved back in 2016, we naturally pressured Jen to do the same and eventually she and her husband Ryan found it to be the right decision for their family as well.
Like most people do as we near the end of the year, I can’t help but reflect on just how wild it’s been. We started January 2020 on a Disney cruise. Taking life by the horns, we loaded up all 15 people in our crew and took to the seas. It was absolutely crazy, but we needed it. We needed the hot sun and a day at the beach, drinks at noon and endless entertainment. We needed magic.
Fast forward through a pandemic, a million doctors’ appointments, and surgeries and we’re closing out the year together, just like we started. We’ve added one sweet girl to the mix, so our final count is 16: 8 girls and 8 boys. We will all cram into a pew in church on Christmas eve, pile around the Christmas tree and open far too many presents, eat too much food, bicker, laugh, and dance our way out of 2020. We are lucky to be together. We are lucky to have each other. It is hard, it is messy, it is beautiful and brutal but this life is ours.
-T-
8 thoughts on “On The Road Again”
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Thank you for sharing this post. You are a beautiful writer. I have shared with Michelle what a great writer you are. I am Kyle’s godmother and aunt. I do not know your family well but was at a birthday party for Shelan many years ago and remember all three of you girls dancing with your mom down the hallway. Time changes so many things and life is so precious. Your family is in my prayers as you have to struggle with the health issues of your parents as well as continue to raise your family.
Kathy- thank you so much! I appreciate you reading and we love the prayers!
Thank you Trish. You words are such a gift.
Teresa- thank you ♥️
Trish, I think about your mom all the time. I know caretaking isn’t easy and I’m so thankful you are all there to take shifts and come in fresh to be there for your parents. Sending hugs and love your way from Kansas!
Thank you Sarah! This means the world to me ❤️
Beautiful Trish…….We continue to keep all of you in our prayers……I remember years ago dancing on the rooftop of the houseboat at Lake Powell, so many wonderful memories and more to come.. Thank you for sharing these thoughts with all of us.
Thank you so much for reading Cheryl! Lake Powell is one of our all time favorite family trip memories!